The Baldy Man Ballad

I see more hair on my pillow,
So it's happening again,
Soon enough I'll join the legions,
Of the baldy, baldy men,
It's a slap-head demographic,
That I hoped I'd never to fit,
So if there's a chance to stem it,
You know I'll be taking it.

Baldy men like carpentry,
And baldy men like Jazz,
They watch every documentary,
That Netflix ever has,
They're the masters of Sudoku,
And compiling football stats,
They go off to the ballgame,
In their baldy beanie hats.

There's baldies in Connecticut.
And baldies up in Maine,
They come down to New York City,
On that baldy Boston train,
They order pizza slices,
And complain about the price,
Then they toss it in the garbage,
'Cause it isn't very nice.

They claim it's their testosterone,
Which nobody believes,
They're the naked trees of winter,
That have shed their summer leaves,
In mixed company they struggle,
Because women are aware,
There ain't never been no lovin',
Where there isn't any hair.

All men with hair are generous,
And baldy men are mean,
It's a natural phenomenon,
With nothing in between,
So I'm kneeling in the chapel,
Praying every way I can,
Please God don't ever let me be,
A baldy, baldy man.

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[notes]
This is a song primarily about vanity.

It's written from the point of view of someone who finds a few hairs on the pillow
and automatically assumes that their life (as they know it) is over.

It therefore leans into young people's stereotypes of older generations along with
some silly nonsense I made up because it sounded funny.

By which I mean it's foolish youth I'm teasing here and not anyone who has less hair
than me. Which is most non-Irish men of my approximate age (I refer you to my previous
works which clearly establish the fact that no Irish men ever go bald).

TBH though I'm only partially Irish (On the Delaney side) so I do check the pillow.

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Funny lyrics, well done:W I was wondering, you don't happen to own a donkey do you? or is that another Delaney? :)
[youtube]n38UNoi5fzk?feature=shared[/youtube]

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Thanks!

And no, you are thinking of my great uncle John's side of the family. They had the Donkey, we got the ogre.

[img]https://habereksprescomtr.teimg.com/crop/1280x720/haberekspres-com-tr/uploads/2024/07/sherek.jpg[/img]

Which is embarrassing because:

a) He's bald
b) He's got a Scottish accent

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:o:D:W

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Lol another funny lyric BM! I know the feeling, I always had long hair but about 15 years ago my wife noticed that a bald spot is developing on the back of my head. and it has been growing slowly but relentlessly :o :| *sigh* yes I am on my way.

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